What is rejection?

Rejection can be defined as being pushed away by someone, or excluded from something. You may experience rejection from a romantic partner, a family member, a friend, or even a social group. However, no matter what form it takes, the resulting emotions can be painful.

In the field of mental health, rejection is usually identified with feelings of grief or sadness, when one is not accepted by others. This is especially true if you are rejected by the partner who is in a close relationship with you. In extreme cases of rejection, the pain is great enough for some people to isolate themselves from connecting with others, for fear of suffering rejection yet again. This fear and sensitivity to rejection may also lead to loneliness and depression if you withdraw from others.   

Some types of rejection.

Some common types of rejection include:

·        Familial rejection. This can consist of abuse, neglect, or withholding of love and affection by a family member. It often starts when you are young and this kind of rejection has the potential to negatively affect you for life.

·        Social rejection. This can apply to any social group which you may want to be part of. This may occur at a sports club, in the workplace, and even during your school days. Rejection of this kind can make you feel isolated and erode your self-confidence.

·        Romantic rejection. People involved in a long-lasting romantic relationship who hope it will develop into something permanent, will be heartbroken if the relationship breaks up because a partner wants out. This type of rejection is particularly painful and the feelings of grief and loss may last for an extraordinary long while.

All forms of rejection can hurt, and when the heartbreak and rejection is caused by a loved one, it may be devastating for your self-worth and self-confidence.  

Psychological effects of heartbreak from rejection.

Here are some of the emotional effects of rejection:

·        Trauma. Some people develop a chronic fear of rejection, sometimes as a result of multiple experiences with rejection early in life.

·        Depression. Mental health care experts agree that most people experience feelings of shame, guilt and grief, when they feel they are not accepted by others. This has been linked to depression, which actually makes rejection issues worse.

·        Pain response. Research has indicated that the brain responds to emotional pain in a very similar way that it responds to physical pain. Pain from heartbreak may manifest in overeating, migraine headaches, and muscle tension.

·        Anxiety and stress. Pain from rejection may also worsen pre-existing conditions such as anxiety and stress, or potentially lead to development of these issues as a serious mental health problem.  

While the pain from heartbreak and rejection is very real, mental health practitioners advise strongly against embracing feelings of aggression or resentment against the perpetrator of your heartbreak. They maintain that these feelings are not healthy and will not help you to recover. It will be of benefit if one can accept the fact that there are many types of rejection that can occur in daily life. If you have suffered a romantic rejection, acceptance may help to put things in perspective and contribute to your healing.