You might be your own worst enemy.

When the person you love walks away, you may be strongly tempted to build a wall around yourself in the name of protection. If you isolate yourself, you might spend a lot of your time indulging in painful thoughts. What you are actually doing is giving heartbreak a home. Of course, heartbreak will come, and it is ok if you feel the pain, even if it doesn’t seem to fade.

However, if you allow heartbreak and grief to be a part of your life, it can change the way you see life, and give rise to a flood of negative thoughts. You may begin to focus on what went wrong, whether there was anything that could have changed, and worst of all, whether you were somehow to blame. 

A list of criticisms and faults.

If you have been filled with negativity and feel that maybe you were to blame, you probably have a long list of faults and criticisms of yourself. Every time your mind goes down one of these negative paths, the road gets a little deeper and more difficult for you to navigate your way out of the ruts. You begin to believe more and more that it might have been your fault that your loved one left you.

However, with practice you will be able to catch yourself before the negative thoughts take hold, may even be able to turn them into positive thoughts. This will help to reassure yourself that you did nothing wrong to hasten the end of your relationship. Of course, you might not be able to catch yourself each and every time when you begin to feel bad, but the good news is that the more you practise, the better it will become. Some critical observations you may make of yourself:

·        I am an idiot for losing the important phone no.

·        My partner asked me to do something important, but I made a mess of it.

·        I always overreact to minor upsets.

·        It looks as if I am lazy if I don’t do something immediately, and it makes me think I may be a procrastinator.

These are just simple things which should not harm any relationship, but the more you focus on bringing yourself down, the harder it will be to get over the grief and heartbreak.

How heartbreak can help you.

When you get to grips to dealing with heartbreak, you will find that there are lessons to be learned. Lessons that will help will help realise you are stronger than you think, that there is light after the darkness, and that there is a point where you will start to rebuild your life.

You are the owner of your heart and mind, and you will decide when you are ready to move on. Don’t allow the remnants of grief and heartbreak hold you back from recovering and going forward with your life.

Letting go.

If you are struggling to let go, experts agree that a therapist, experienced in grief counselling, will be able to help you eliminate the trauma from your subconscious mind, and set you on a path to create a new mindset free of baggage.

You will be able to let go of the breakup with a clear conscience, and feel better than you ever have in the past.